Lotusblog

Just got an email from a desperate man. Peter sounds like he is in trouble. I really wish I could help him, he sounds like a nice person.
Maybe someone out there in the wide web world can help him. But only genuine, kind folks need apply…

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MR PETER NGO,
LONDON , UK
Direct private Phone:+447 040115431
Dear Greeting,

In appreciation of your esteemed contact received through a reliable source and the choice of your country wish to introduce myself my name is MR. PETER NGO, the stepson of Mr. Terry ford of Zimbabwe. During the current crisis against the farmers of Zimbabwe by the supporters of our President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white owned farms in our country, he ordered all the white farmers to surrender their farms to his party members and their followers.
you can view website:http://www.thefarmer.co.zw/main.htm or
/www.dogsinthenews.com/issues/0203/articles/020319a.htm

Terry was one of the best farmers in the country and knowing that he did not support the President political ideology, the president supporters invaded my father’s farm and burnt down everything, killed him and confiscated all his investments. Before this unpleasant incident, my mother and Terry had already visited MADRID (SPAIN) to deposit the sum of forty five million United States Dollars (US$45.m) in the safe dilpomatic vault here in MADRID (SPAIN).

This action was taken because Terry felt the growing tension on the farm issue but I guess he never anticipated the tragedy that brought his brutal death. At the time of deposition, the content was not disclosed to the officials; instead, it was deposited as? Family Valuables? Valued for the real content in the consignment. After the bloody incident, we all had to escape to LONDON , UK for the safety of our lives.

On getting to LONDON , UK where I have been living since then as a political refugee I am seeking for a reliable foreigner who can assist me in moving this funds out for safe banking and profitable investment. Honestly I contacted you because I don’t want to invest this funds in LONDON , UK due to my status here as a political refugee and moreover I don’t want to take risk because this funds is all that I and my mother is depending on

My mother and I are seriously looking forward to trusted partner that will assist us with the convenient and legal transfer of the funds out of MADRID (SPAIN). If my proposition is considered for assisting us to transfer this money to your country, we will offer you 20% of the total fund, and 5% of the total will be set aside to cover any expenses incurred during this transaction. 75% will be for my family to buy Shares in your company or investing in your country under your supervision. I would appreciate confidentiality and honesty in our correspondence. Your immediate response will be highly welcomed. I wait to hear from you.
Reply me with this my private mail box (peterngo76@netscape.net)
Best Wishes,

MR. PETER NGO
For the family

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You can stop laughing now.

Anyway, first cab of the ranks is this excellent article titled “Nation’s Poor Win Election for Nation’s Rich”. You won’t know whether to laugh or cry.

I was just reading an interview with the much ballyhooed next governor of Texas. This comment, in particular, had me in stitches:

Just because I’ve been a bachelor all my life does not mean that the rumors that I’m gay are true. I’ve got affidavits from 2,500 sheep. By the way, I’m all for gay marriage. I think I was the first one to say that they should be just as miserable as everybody else.

The interview with Friedman is one of the more refreshing articles I have read in recent weeks. I raise my whisky to you, Mr. Friedman, and wish you the best.

I thought the internet was supposed to free us. Or at least free information.

And to be fair, it sort of does. In some ways. I just came across a rather novel application of a company’s ability to leverage the power of the ‘net. Mizuho bank (Japan’s largest in terms of assets) has an online banking function available for those customers who sign up for it. I am one. It works pretty well- you can send money to people, check your balance, the usual stuff. But the hilarious thing is that you can only do it at certain times…

以下の時間帯は、インターネットバンキングをご利用いただけません。

●土曜日22:00〜翌日曜日8:00、日曜日21:00〜翌月曜日7:00
●第1・第4土曜日3:00〜5:00

…which for those of you whose browsers don’t support Japanese means:

You can’t us internet banking during the following times:
Saturdays from 10pm to Sunday morning 8am
Sundays from 9pm to Monday morning 7am
The first and forth Saturdays of the month from 3pm to 5pm

There are also other sporadic, non-regular times when the service is unavailable. I guess now must be one of them, because it isn’t listed above.

I guess you can only shrug your shoulders and laugh.

Billy and Dave no longer exist. It seems. Look at the screen-grab below taken from a QuickTime newsletter from the year 2001

Ah… Billy and Dave

Sadly even the British Web Broadcasting site no longer exists. A visit to their URL transports you secretly to this site which is embarrassing titled “Advanced Payment Solutions for Digital Commerce”.

Ah-hem.

Maybe I have discovered a worm-hole and have traveled back in time to 1999. If that’s true, then I think I think I should buy shares in eBay, Amazon and Chinese ISPs. Oh, and that reminds me. If it is 1999, then how do I warn people about the impending terrorist armageddon without sounding like a loony? And how do I tell them that Y2K-end-of-the-world-doom doesn’t happen?

Actually the last 5 years (or should I now say, the next five years) were pretty big for me. A lot of stuff happened; good and bad, happy and sad. But if I were to live them again… what would I change?

Addendum

It’s now 2009. I just came across this old blog post and clicked on the links above… lo and behold Billy and Dave are still there. Even after 5 years their comic genius is as fresh as ever. But this begs the question, what are they doing now?